(646) 543-0931

Book a consultation
A man hiding in the corner

7 Damaging Lies We Tell Ourselves

Emotional Intelligence & Self-Awareness

PUBLISHED

Table of Contents

By Nicole LaBeach, PhD, PCC  Few would argue that authenticity offers more personal benefits than the lies we tell ourselves. For example, we tell ourselves we’re going to be consistent about eating better. We may even blame others (e.g., parents, business partners, partners, kids) for things like a current financial mess, even though they may not have been part of our lives for the past 10 years. Maybe we believe if we only had “this” or “that,” we’d finally be happy, and that happiness would last forever. Many of us know that’s not really true, yet still it doesn’t stop the lies we often tell ourselves. And, no matter our position, there are 7 lies that can be quite damaging, thus deserving of our attention.   

1. I’ll be able to pay it off next month, so it’s okay if I buy it now.

It’s easy to convince yourself that you’ll do things differently next month, or you won’t incur un-budgeted expenses in the next 30 days. However, we rarely seem to stick to these promises. And, debt has a tremendous potential to snowball. We may all benefit from minimizing debt as much as possible.  

2. I’ll start on Monday.

Whether it’s a promise to be a better listener, handle difficult conversations, manage a budget, start an exercise plan, a diet or another undertaking, it’s a lie to tell yourself you’ll start on Monday. Simply, if it’s worth doing at all, it’s worth starting right now.  

3. It’s the noun’s fault.

There’s no doubt we all have people, places, and things we can blame for things being less than optimal in our lives. However, personal honesty and ownership may reveal you’ve had plenty of opportunities to move things in a more positive direction and/or put your life back on track. Putting the blame for your present on your past, limits your future. It’s your time, seize the moment and focus on what can be done to make your life better.  

4. If I just had _____, everything would be perfect.

Once you have the money, body, job, spouse, house, or whatever you think is needed to have a “perfect” life, you’ll likely find something else is desired or you think you just “have to have.” There’ll always be another thing beyond the thing you currently have or previously wanted.  

5. I’m different from everyone else.

A lot of people believe there’s something wrong with them. And, it’s not just something wrong with them, it’s something uniquely wrong with them. Sure, everyone is unique, but our similarities are far greater than our differences. Simply, you are perfectly imperfect, and imperfections are not only a part of everyone’s experience, but they can be celebrated and managed.  

6. It’s too late for me. 

For some things, it might be too late. But it’s not too late for a lot of things. Of course, waiting longer can make a lot of things less convenient, but that’s not the same as being too late. It may just mean you’ll have to work harder or endure more inconvenience to accomplish it. Though there may be a penalty for waiting, it’s rarely insurmountable.  

7. The timing isn’t right.

For some, the timing is rarely right, not right enough, and never going to be right. However, many would agree the key is to do it now, while you can. Each day you wait is another day of delay. So, dare to just do it.  

Here’s the thing: the lies we tell ourselves feel better.

But it’s a false solution that never fully meets our real needs. The lies we tell ourselves can make us our own worst enemy and stop us from making progress in our life. So, be honest with yourself and give yourself a chance — You’re The Guarantee! To learn more about personal and professional development and improving your skills as a leader, contact Nicole for a consultation.

Explore More Communication Styles

Danielle Siegel
Inspired by a 21-Year-Old: Lessons in Perseverance
Tom Henschel
Four Ways to Deepen Workplace Relationships
Courtney Birch Webster
The Power of Not Knowing: Navigating Career Transitions with Confidence
Rachel Verlik
Leading Your Team (and Self!) Through Uncertain Times
Kelly Ross
Gratitude: A Possible Add As You Start Off 2025 Strong
Maren Perry
How Can Leaders Balance Authority and Approachability?

Explore The Arden 8™ Leadership Dimensions

Emotional Intelligence and Self Awareness

Communication Skills and Style​​

Empowering and Developing Others

Execution and Accountability​

Difficult Conversations and Feedback

Strategic Thinking and Decision Making

Executive Presence and Influence

Navigating Change and Uncertainty

Looking for a custom engagement?

Talk to us about putting together a program that fits your circumstances.

Let's Chat

(646) 543-0931

Book a consultation