Blind Spots Are Part of Being Human
To be human is to have blind spots. Because we are human, this is true for coaches as well as for our coaching clients.
One of the central goals of coaching is to help clients feel sufficiently safe and aware to identify those blind spots—particularly the subtle ones that quietly shape behavior. Better yet, effective coaching helps clients grasp those blind spots and find ways to reduce both their presence and their impact.
Recently, at least two client conversations highlighted a particular and very common type of blind spot: the kind that emerges when we have feelings about people, interactions, or situations that we are not entirely comfortable admitting—even to ourselves.
When Emotions Become Invisible
Blind spots often form when emotions go unacknowledged. These emotions do not disappear; instead, they remain hidden, influencing behavior and decision-making from behind the scenes.
A Leadership Blind Spot in Action
One client—whom I’ll call Nadia—experienced this firsthand.
Nadia had traveled for a planned visit to a direct report, Cynthia, who works from a different location. Cynthia frequently excludes Nadia from information and activities—an issue that raises broader leadership questions in its own right. During this visit, that pattern surfaced in multiple ways, including a pre-holiday gift exchange Cynthia had organized locally, from which Nadia was excluded.
Nadia, being human, felt a complex mix of emotions: left out, isolated, hurt, angry, vulnerable, annoyed. At the same time, she wanted to respond professionally and appropriately as a leader.
Her challenge was not whether her feelings were justified—they were—but how to manage that emotional mix thoughtfully and productively.
The Cost of Overwork and Feeling Powerless
Another client, we’ll call him Max, brought forward a related challenge, complicated by sustained overwork and exhaustion.
Expertise Without Influence
Max is widely recognized as a deep subject-matter expert, both inside his company and within his broader field. His firm faces a “good” problem: more client demand than staff capacity. Max has long believed the real solution lies in how work is organized and how hiring decisions are made—areas he feels leadership has not fully recognized.
In the meantime, the immediate labor demands have led Max to feel increasingly frustrated and overwhelmed. He finds himself pulled into lower-level execution work, despite being capable of contributing more strategically. He feels powerless, overworked, ignored, undervalued, and deeply frustrated.
His question mirrors Nadia’s in a different form: to what degree can he influence his situation in ways that prevent burnout—both for himself and for others—while also working toward more effective long-term solutions?
The Intersection of Head and Heart in Leadership
In both cases, the clients’ feelings and perspectives were entirely legitimate.
As they spoke, what stood out was the interweaving of head and heart. Each client blended objective, professional reasoning with deeply personal emotional responses. This mix is not a weakness—it is a hallmark of being human at work.
For coaches and leaders alike, the question becomes: how do we work with this mix productively?
Why Emotional Validation Comes First
My primary goal as a coach is to help clients make progress in their areas of challenge. In my experience, the first step is recognizing and validating strong emotions when they surface.
This is not indulgent—it is practical.
People think more clearly and make better decisions when they are not emotionally flooded. And what helps people move through emotional intensity? Often, it is being deeply, patiently, and supportively listened to as they identify and articulate the sources of their upset.
When that happens, the emotional energy dissipates. When it does not, those emotions retreat into blind spots, continuing to shape behavior unconsciously until they are addressed.
Professionalism and the Myth of Emotional Suppression
Many people strive to be as professional as possible by compartmentalizing their emotions at work. Sometimes this strategy works—at least temporarily. Other times, the personal inevitably overshadows the professional.
When that happens, progress usually comes not from pushing emotions aside, but from talking them through until their intensity subsides. Only then does effective problem-solving become possible.
Ignoring emotions does not make them disappear. It simply makes them harder to see—and harder to manage.
Blind Spots Do Not Mean Failure
Blind spots are not a sign of failure. They are an invitation to deeper awareness.
When leaders are willing to slow down, acknowledge their emotional experience, and bring those hidden dynamics into the open, they gain greater clarity, agency, and effectiveness—both for the short term and the long term.